Cheryl Shops

Oscar fashion recap
Because after Fashion Week I'm still in a critiquing mood, here's what I thought of last night's looks.

Best

She's probably landing on every other worst-dressed list, but because Tilda Swinton took a risk--that worked--in this gorgeously draped Lanvin, she's tops in my book. Then again, I liked the hefty-bag-like Lanvin she wore last year as well. In my eyes, you can't go wrong with Albert Elbaz.


I tend to either love or hate what Marisa Tomei wears; and while I'm sure a lot of people hated her Versace gown--and I am generally not one to go for Versace--I thought it was stunning, with all the architectural pleating and the long, long train.


I think we can safely guess that Olivier Theyskens is on his way out at Nina Ricci, because Reese Witherspoon is incredibly loyal to him, and this time she instead went with Rodarte, which shocked (and pleased) many a fashionista. I heard this dress compared to a David's Bridal creation on another blog, but I thought it was fierce.


Yes, I am just as stunned as you are, but my absolute favorite dress of the night was Alicia Keys' Armani. I love everything about it--the cut, the color, and how incredibly flattering it looked on Ms. Keys.


Honorable Mention

Also in Armani, I thought Anne Hathaway looked totally stunning. However, considering this dress was covered entirely in pailettes, the thing must've weighed a ton. Also, when she turned to the side, it was a bit ill-fitting in the bust. Close, but not quite.


I actually liked Jessica Biel's strapless white Prada gown; unlike other critics, I didn't think she looked like she had toilet paper or a burp cloth hanging from the front. However, the thing was too damn long. Stylists are supposed to hem too, not just help you pick the right gown.


There was definitely a strong princess-dress effect happening on the red carpet; while it's generally not a look I can get behind, I thought Penelope Cruz's vintage Balmain was the best of the bunch. However, I would've preferred to see her in something a bit more modern.


I really liked Natalie Portman's strapless Rodarte gown, and she would've been under "best" had Alicia Keys not worn a similar--and slightly better--version from Armani. Again, props for wearing a super-indie designer like Rodarte.

Dishonorable Mention

This is just too much dress for too young a girl (Miley Cyrus, in this case). Also, it's a copy of a vintage Dior, which I think is a little on the tacky side.


Freida Pinto takes risks, which I admire, but this one just didn't work for me, even though it's Galliano. There's just something about the one illusion sleeve that rubs me the wrong way. (Everyone has their pet peeves; mine happens to be mesh.)


Amy Adams' Carolina Herrera dress puzzles me--it looks like the front flyway panel has somehow caused a chasm in the bodice. However, I loved her stone-collar necklace, which saved the day.


Maybe it's the fact that she has 6 kids and thus no time to think about gowns, or maybe when you have Brad Pitt on your arm, you can't go for anything too flashy lest everyone in the crowd be blinded by your beauty. However, with this nondescript strapless black gown (I don't even care who the designer is), Angelina Jolie looks like she's stopped trying. And, hello, she's a movie star. Team Aniston!

Worst

I think Amanda Seyfried is adorable on Big Love, but, really, I think any kind of dress with a big red bow on it is just a bad idea all around. Even if it's Valentino.


Really, I have a hard time believing Armani designed something so ugly as Sophia Loren's overly ruffled gown.


I don't know how Heidi Klum managed to make this RM by Roland Mouret dress look like a hot tranny mess, but she did. The gown looks wrinkled and disheveled; Klum's hair looks like she hasn't washed it since Project Runway was last on the air. Where's Christian Siriano when you need him?


While I applaud Beyonce for leaving her jewelry at home, that's about the only nice thing I have to say about this dress, which looks like the curtains in a whore's bedroom. Her usual glitzy, glamazon fare would be a vast improvement over this abomination.

Most worstest. Oscar fashion. Ever.
Lovable host Jon Stewart aside, last night's Oscar ceremony was one of the most boring ever and, fittingly, so were the dresses. Boring jewelry, boring colors (black and red--how novel!), few risk-takers, and few rewards. Meh.

Best
The Best Actress winner always gets a free pass, but Marion Cotillard's Gaultier mermaid gown (complete with scale-like beading) deserves an award of its own.


Anne Hathaway must've learned something from The Devil Wears Prada; I thought this Marchesa gown suited her perfectly, and it was definitely my favorite of all the reds.


Cate Blanchett screwed up my Oscar pool, but I'll forgive her, because she always takes fashion risks (this is Dries van Noten), and she always looks fabulous--even while mega-pregnant.


Honorable Mention
Nicole Kidman is, what, four months pregnant, and you can't even tell. And while her black Balenciaga gown is a bit on the understated side, her diamond necklace, designed by L'Wren Scott, is to die for.


I feel like the number-one adjective everyone is using to describe Miley Cyrus's Valentino gown is "age-appropriate," which is funny, because I wouldn't necessarily think to put a 15-year-old in Valentino. However, this gown is demure, chic, and, yes, age-appropriate


Unlike most media outlets, I did not hate Tilda Swinton's one-sleeved Lanvin gown. But I loved her diamond cuff bracelet, as well as the fact that this woman did not have a stitch of makeup on her face and yet managed to have an ethereal glow that made her look younger than most starlets. I'll have what she's having.


Most Improved
Jennifer Hudson managed to look light years better than last year's metallic-cropped-jacket disaster. My only complaint is that it looks like she's not wearing a bra, and when you've got a rack that huge, you've got to keep those puppies in line.


Dishonorable Mention
Ever since she was Sydney Bristow on Alias, I have loved Jennifer Garner. And I thought it was even sweet that she name-dropped stylist Rachel Zoe on the red carpet, but I have to subtract major points for Zoe's War on Breasts--Garner's did not fit in this dress and bubbled out in a rather unflattering manner.


I get that Ellen Page is not into fashion and all, but this is seriously one of the most boring dresses I've ever seen. Although I own a similar version in black jersey, and it is quite comfortable. However, this is the Oscars. Make an effort.


Her dress fits her beautifully, but her matronly hairstyle makes Katherine Heigl look like Movie Star Barbie. Also: It's boring.


Worst
Diablo Cody's dress itself wasn't awful per se, but she looked uncomfortable in it, and for someone who's going to be stuck with "former exotic dancer" in front of her name for the rest of her life, perhaps something a bit more classic would've been a smarter choice.


I liked Kelly Preston's dress the first time, two years ago, when I saw it on Michlle Williams. This looks like an ABS knockoff.


Former cocktail waitress and Fear Factor contestant Sarah Larson is quite possibly the luckiest girl in the world, in that she was plucked from D-list obscurity and now shares a bed with The Clooney. And considering how classy Clooney is, you'd think he could've helped her pick out a better dress than this lackluster Valentino, which looks like something a fading Palm Beach socialite would wear to a charity ball. She should just be cropped out of this photo.