America's Next Top Model recap
Oh, where to begin? I must give the producers of America's Next Top Model props for coming up with crazier and crazier scenarios each season to keep things fresh. This week's episode started with a ballet lesson as impetus for the girls to be more graceful and have better posture and etc.--definitely a better idea than last season's ridiculous "boot camp" episode, in which the girls had to run up multiple flights of stairs and then pose for a photo at the top (and Eva dry-heaved). The twist, however, was that the ballet master was a portly old man who kept hitting the girls with his cane. They followed ballet--logically--with a fancy meal, but Tiffany drank too much wine, first getting all schmoopy and "I love you guys!" and then barfing under the table. Lovely. The girls then had a luncheon with supermodel Beverly Johnson, the first black model to grace the cover of Vogue; Tiffany managed to not barf this time; cut to clips of Beverly telling the girls how to handle tough modeling situations with grace. Do I sense some foreshadowing? The girls then had to participate in a renegade tennis-themed photo shoot, in which the photographer purposely acted like an asshole as Jay Manuel watched the whole thing on camera. The girls were all agitated, and Brandy, my least favorite contestant ever, got into some sort of bitch fight with Tatiana, who until now has shown no personality whatsoever. But Big Sister Tiffany stepped in and prevented any real hair-pulling or bitch-slapping. As for the challenge, Naima won, so she, Tiffany and Kahlen were treated to dinner with Serena Williams, which impressed the pants off of me. The girls then had another photo shoot, this time posing as astrological signs by way of crazy makeup (oh yes, it's back) and having to do a weird balancing act with a harness--something that didn't look too difficult, but that most of the girls had trouble with. Then Tiffany cried some more (someone should start an ANTM drinking game, and you should chug when Tiffany cries) and Brandy sassed the hairdresser. So, of course, it came down to Miss Bad Attitude Brandy and Lluvy in the end, but even though she took "the worst photo in the history of America's Next Top Model," according to Tyra, Lluvy was saved, thankfully. Lluvy reminds me of a way cooler version of Kelle (from last season)--beautiful girl, bad photos. As for Brandy, good riddance! But will Tiffany revert back to her angry old ways without her "little sister"? Stay tuned...

Next week: Michelle, the wrestler, appears to have some sort of contagious flesh-eating bacteria--watch it freak the models' shit right out!

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