America's Next Top Model recap
Hear that sound? Yep, that would be the "baum-chicka-baw-waw" of this week's episode of America's Next Top Model, a.k.a. the "Kim and Sarah get it on" episode. Bonding over their total lack of runway-walking skills, Kim and Sarah started with a midnight swim in the pool...followed by a makeout sesson in Kim's bed. (Sadly, we saw about a corner of the bed, which I'm going to blame on the fact that UPN is a major network; if this show were on MTV, we'd have totally seen the whole thing). Of course, the next day both girls were all remorseful about it--Kim has a girlfriend and Sarah has a boyfriend--but it was fun while it lasted. Backing up a bit, this was also the "J. Alexander teaches the models how to walk" episode; their skills were then tested in an audience-less runway show for crazy designer Sue Wong ("You're a Mongolian princess!" was among her comments to the models), and Bre, who has thus far not been very impressive, won with her diva-meets-Belgian Stomp walk (I personally think her walk is a bit horselike, but she definitely did have the most attitude and presence during the competition). As I mentioned before, my fave gal Kim and her DSL buddy Sarah were among the worst walkers. In this week's photo shoot, the girls had to run on a bizarre treadmill-like thing while looking "scared" and most of the girls did not nail it at all, although Jayla, who had her extensions removed and her spunky short 'do restored, rocked it. And due to tricky editing, I thought Kim blew it, but it turned out she had one of the better photos as well. Sneaky, Tyra Banks, sneaky. And if you remember from last week, Tyra mentioned that pageant queen Cassandra's hair wasn't quite short enough and that she wanted to lop off another inch. So after much debate with the other contestants (Sly Bre really impressed me with her comment, "God gave you instincts for a reason," that little saboteur!) and her mom, Cassandra decided (quite irrationally, in my opinion) that she was not letting anyone cut her hair...which resulted in her having to leave the competition. Yikes, was not expecting that one. (Remember in the first season how it didn't count against the girls if they didn't want to pose nude? How is this different?) Now, yes, I thought Cassandra was beyond annoying, too, but the show needs a personality like that--the bitch you love to hate. Of course, this is America's Next Top Model, so we can expect some other bitch's head to sprout up in her place. Now, even with this unexpected departure, they still had an elimination. During judging, the girls had to perform their "signature walk" (yes, a task inspired by season two's Camille), and Kim literally stabbed herself in the foot by prefacing her walk with a speech about how she knows her walk sucks but she's working on it. Dumb, Kim, dumb. In the end, it came down to Kim and her honey Sarah--how fitting--but it seemed Kim was only there to be punished for her little speech, and thus Sarah was kicked off. She and Kim shared one last tearful embrace; then cut to Sarah packing up her belongings and vowing to make it big as a model. Honestly, I'm not too worried about Sarah--since she's already proved her talent for making out with the ladies on camera, I think she should take her DSL straight to Vivid Video and sign herself a six-video contract. Um, I'm kidding. Sort of.

Next week, the catfights start with bag-o'-fug Lisa accusing now-normal-eyebrows Coryn of exercise anorexia. Aww yeah!

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