America's Next Top Model is back!
Well, America's Next Top Model has been back for two weeks already, but since I was on vacay for the first two episodes, this is my first post about it. So, among the ridiculous points of note thus far is that this is a "green" cycle of ANTM, which is admirable in theory, but the fact that the first episode took place on a fuel-guzzling cruise ship seems a bit hypocritical to me. Also, Tyra is not allowing any of the contestants to smoke on this cycle, which seems a bit harsh. If a contestant is caught smoking, will she be kicked off the show? The logical thing to do would be to just not show any of the girls smoking on camera, but that would probably mean--god forbid--missing out on some juicy bits. This cycle also already has a resident bitch, Queens' own Bianca, who is so incredibly insecure that she picks fights with anyone who is more talented than her. Which is everyone. While she was in the bottom two this week, I'm assuming Tyra is keeping her on just so she can break Bianca down and make her cry at some point. Perhaps it will happen in next week's makeover episode. Hmm... There's one "plus size" contestant, Sarah, who is about 30 pounds away from actually being plus size and seems incredibly well-adjusted. If she knows what's good for her, she'll develop a personality ASAP. We also have our first Ivy League contestant, the Yalie Victoria, who has managed to sass Twiggy twice, endearing her greatly to me, as I think Twiggy is an idiot. Now all she needs to do is drop her "I'm a geek" schtick and she'll be in the running for one of my favorites. But as of now, that honor belongs to Heather, the contestant with Asberger's syndrome (which, as we all know by now, is a mild form of autism). Heather is awesome not only because she's the most ugly-duckling-beautiful contestant since Shandi, but because you know she's not going to fall into the typical ANTM cycle (pun intended) of crying and catfights. Which hopefully means she'll stick around for awhile, but in the meantime, I can't wait for the makeover episode next week. There had better be tears, or I'm going to feel incredibly let down.

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