America's Next Top Model recap
If there's a lesson to be learned from this week's America's Next Top Model, it's that anything can change at any time. For example, the annoying Jade was almost sent home last week, and she pretty much rocked this week (albeit in an annoying way), whereas Nnenna, who was rocking the past two weeks, kind of faded into the woodwork (and got called near the end, shockingly). And, kind of out of nowhere, Danielle started working it. Who knew? The episode started with runway-walking lessons by Ms. Jay; it still never ceases to amaze (and delight) me that a former drag queen is teaching models how to walk on network TV. Anyway, most of the walking was pretty mediocre, and, as much as it pains me to say it, Jade did have one of the better walks. The girls were put to the test in a "runway show" for L.A. designer Jared Gold, who appears to be the poor man's Vivienne Westwood; cue wacky clothing, weird makeup, and...huge cockroaches. Jade won over the crowd by working (and kissing) hers, whereas Gina freaked out and literally had to be pushed onto the runway. Big surprise, Jade won the challenge and got to take four buddies to a fashion show. And since models sometimes "fall" on the runway (like in Vivienne Westwood shows), the photo shoot involved dressing up like a fairy-tale character and falling onto a big cushy mattress, which, honestly, looked like the most fun shoot since the trampoline in cycle three. The girls then had one final challenge--to do their runway walk for the judges in huge 8-inch platform heels (again, Vivienne Westwood). Kari (a.k.a. model Barbie), who stumbled every time down the runway, totally wiped out--mutliple times--in the monster shoes. Remarkably, not all of them did--except for Danielle, who sprained her toe in her collossal wipeout that, as mean as this sounds, really made me laugh (especially when she crawled on her hands and knees at the end). Oh, come on, you were laughing too! Anyway, Jade (shocker) was called first, followed by the (newly) fierce Danielle. It came down to model Barbie and Gina (the Asian girl) in the end; according to Tyra, it's because both of them are boring, but I really think it was because Gina was a brat at Jared Gold and Kari can't walk (and is a bit chubby, for a model). Gina's angular face won out in the end, because poor Kari was already starting to get the "too commercial" comments and, as MW put it, she was the hottest girl on the show (read: the prettiest, i.e. not "edgy" enough and, yes, "too commercial"). I'm sure she'll turn up in a Macy's catalog at some point.

Next week, Janice Dickinson is back to give the girls posing tips. And, I expect, to call out Jade on her insecurities.

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