America's Next Top Model recap
This week's episode of America's Next Top Model was the makeover episode, which is usually one of my favorites (as opposed to, say, the "acting" eposide). On one hand, it's a little predictable--at least one girl always hates her hair, at least one turns into a diva, at least one complains about how they didn't do much of anything to her--but I always find the transformations so remarkable. Except this time, they were a little ho-hum. For at least half of the girls, I could barely tell the difference between "before" and "after"; the rest got extensions, a shaved head (Nnenna) or a crazy blonde short 'do (Jade and Sara). Jade, who's clearly this cycle's big bitch, was expecting extensions because "all the working girls have long hair" and was totally put off by her bright blond afro. Sara was clearly not thrilled with her shaved-on-the-side-but-long-on-top mohawk-type thing, although it makes her look like a punkier Scarlett Johansson, and considering how crazy it is, it's very versatile and "edgy." As they were getting their new looks, Mr. & Ms. Jay went around and gave all the girls "images," like "hip-hop fabulous." At their challenge the next day, the girls had to pick out an outfit from the Gen Art fashion show, then they had 15 minutes to style themselves and do hair and makeup before being judged by my favorite (emphasis, ironic) stylist, Rachel Zoe. Also Naima was there to give the girls makeup tips (and for some obvious Cover Girl product placement); I have no idea when Naima became makeup expert, but whatever. Ms. Zoe did her best to cut the girls down to size (let me just say she's no Simon Doonan), but if I were a contestant, I'd find it hard to take criticism from a 35-year-old woman who dresses like a 22-year-old and has single-handedly brought anorexia back into vogue. I'm just saying. Anyway, Nnenna won the challenge, entitling her and roommates Gina and Jade to a shopping spree. Meanwhile, Jade is creating friction with nearly everyone in the house, calling Furonda a diva because of her new hair extensions (she may act like a diva, but oh my god does she look like Tiffany from cycle 4 now!) and yelling at Wendy for hogging the phone (Wendy being the displaced New Orleans resident). Of course, the more Jade brags about herself and cuts everyone else down to size, the more clear it is that she's totally insecure. And she should be, because 1) I think she looks like a man and 2) she's too old. Anyway, the photo shoot this time was for a "cover" and because no shoot is ever easy, the girls had to pose in a veritable freezer, on blocks of ice (with appropriately blue and silver makeup, natch). Again, I think most of the girls rocked it, except Jade, who was a big baby the whole time and Wendy, who's clearly (and with good reason) preoccupied. Jade defended herself by bringing up her lack of social skills and by making excuses; the judges were totally not having it. But they decided she made better TV than the Hurricane Katrina victim Wendy, because they sent her packing. Which was probably a good thing for her sake and for her family's.

Next week, Ms. Jay teaches the girls how to walk.

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