America's Next Top Model recap
Even though this week was the "make the models partake in local traditions" episode of America's Next Top Model, I almost didn't mind, because Joanie kicked so much ass. The first part of the episode had the models learning Thai dancing, then performing in front of an audience full of Thai people, the most amusing part being that they totally busted out laughing when Furonda blanked and started grooving out, hip-hop style. Joanie won the competition and took Sarah with her to dinner with the editor of Vogue Thailand (kind of a lame prize compared to a diamond necklace that Jade won earlier, but whatever) and Sarah was an ungrateful little bitch because Joanie picked Sarah because she hadn't won any challenges before (for the record, neither had Joanie). In the meantime, poor Danielle, who had previously broken her toe and got her gap-tooth fixed, was hospitalized for dehydration and food poisoning. Ever the trooper, Danielle ignored the doctor's advice and went to the next day's photo shoot, in which the models had to pose on elephants for motorized Venus razors (cue lengthy product placement shots). Joanie especially rocked the shoot (as did Danielle, who, miraculously, did not barf through the entire thing), so much so that Sarah decided to steal like all of her poses--except that Sarah's were nowhere near as good at Joanie's. Also, we learned two important facts about elephants, courtesy of Jade: They're descendants of dinosaurs, and they're "preposterous" (um, Jade, that word means "absurd"). After a ridiculous mini-challenge at judging where the girls had to convey emotion with a pose by wearing masks on their faces, it came down to Furonda, who's inconsistent, and Jade, who's just...Jade. So while Jade is...Jade, she can pose, and she certainly makes for good television (especially when she teaches us all about elephants), so Furonda got the boot. This makes me a little sad, because I've always liked Furonda. The funny thing is that the judges never mentioned her bad skin; apparently Danielle's poor speech is okay to criticize, but Furonda's skin is off-limits? Interesting.

Next week, the competition heats up between Joanie and Sarah. (Bring it, Joanie!) And, since there are only two episodes left (I think), I'm going to start placing my bets. I think Jade goes next, then Sarah, and Danielle and Joanie will be the final two. And since Danielle kind of sounds like Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain when she talks, I'm going to venture that Joanie wins. At least I hope she does.

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