Cheryl shops...the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book
Yeah, so the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book has been out for a month already, but Christmas is still a good two months away, so calm down. Now, Neiman Marcus makes a good go at offering affordable gifts, with several pages devoted to gifts under $100 and under $50, but if you ask me, six chocolate-dipped strawberries for $36 is not the most wise way to spend one's money. The real point of the Christmas Book is to ogle Neiman Marcus' totally bizarro gifts and drool over the high-end fashion gifts that might be given to some lucky housewife in Darien, Connecticut, but probably not to you. But more on those later.

For the batshit gifts, we have a custom suit of armor for $20k; for your inner Nazi, a zeppelin for a cool $10 million; a 5,000-square-foot his-and-hers bowling alley (probably not so good for New Yorkers with limited space); for cheeseballs, a Grand Ole Opry experience, complete with customized jackets; an underwater aviator for $1.7 million; and what actually appear to be two good deals, a $375k luxury timeshare membership and a lifetime American Airlines AAirpass membership, one for $3 million, two for $5 million (of course, if you have that kind of money, maybe you want to look into buying a private jet). There are more crazy gifts, but I thought those were the most noteworthy.

Now, onto the good stuff. This year's catalogue has six pages of Chanel goodies, but they're mysteriously missing from the online version of the catalogue (for those of you who have a hard copy, it's pages 20-25). Bah humbug! But, they do show a fabulous Burberry trench; an incredibly sexy leopard-print Dolce & Gabbana suit; a to-die-for festive red Marc Jacobs dress; and, for those who ski, a Pucci ski ensemble.

So now you all know what to get me for Christmas! Remember, I'm a size 8!

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